Category: diary

My diary entries of both magical and dream work going back to my childhood in 1986.

  • Waiting for the Tsumani

    Waiting for the Tsumani

    2020-03-17

    The old cliche comes to mind – the calm before the storm.

    People get impatient and want to see their friends but its the worst time to go out.

    For trees to survive a fire there simply has to be enough space between them.

    Some employers are allowing workers to work remote however the majority hold onto the outdated notion that remote work is ineffective and only “butts in seats” mean people are working.

    Elon Musk underestimates the danger just because you are good at making money it doesn’t make one a medical expert.

    However often CEOs believe that their monetary skills somehow translate to every other area of life, including medical decisions.

    That’s why this so called relief package has no paid medical leave for working people. No extended unemployment for those who just lost jobs that took them 6 months to find.

    A large portion of the population are being forced to work onsite despite the danger. But for the CEO these people are absolutely disposible. They can always find more where they came from.

  • Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face

    2023-07-21

    What are some of the issues that are driving the current writer and actor’s strikes?

    AI is developing far faster than people like Biden can realise. Since the issues created by AI largely do not effect the class of retired people represented by Washington nothing is being done.

    When you lose your job to AI if you are over 50 they can deny you food stamps until you can find another job, which could literally starve people to death.

    The studios claim once they shoot an actor their image is their forever and they want to see the residuals given out dropped to nearly nothing.

    The killer thing with AI is they can take an actor who’s done 5 films and use the film material from past work to then generate new works in the future with 0 compensation for the actor impacted.

    In some countries this impact could be negligable but in the US where all resources are setup as a vicious fight to the death for crumbs from the table the result will be people being starved to death because there is no more work they can do.

    The republicans would love to end medicare, medicaid, end all healthcare for working people so they can save more money to “party.”

    Human life at one point was about 1 million dollars – worth less than most homes but worth something.

    With the rise of AI human life drops down to a worth of around $14.

  • The Song of Birds

    The Song of Birds

    2020-03-18

    Staying in place is easy for a writer, its our natural inclination not to go out.

    Its a strange world where suddenly Howard Hughs is a major role model but its a real thing.

    But more about that in a music review.

    For now we sit here waiting to hear of my dad’s passing, my mom completely torutured but what can one do?

    We never know how long we have here, my friend lost his son and nephew to a car accident they were only 14. In many ways we make this place a lot more dangerous than it has to be in order for a few to benefit.

    Here we can hardly stand a medical emergency yet the powers that be still seek war and confrontation. When can we have peace and cooperation with a focus on happiness, kindness and compassion?

    Now I just focus on two things, what can I do to help and what can I learn while I have a lot of time to sit and read.

    Try to clear my mind and make every action a meditation. While I’m completely freaked out of course but its important to acknowledge the fear give it its due but then put it away.

    This is a great time to study online we have many great resources, I always like to point out khan academy because they’re free and open to anyone.

  • Pain

    2023-08-30

    On the one hand being severed from healthcare access to punish me for being 50+ is some brutal pain, its not easy to find work until I can complete my certifications for the medical field.

    There is a massive shortage of nurses, but it takes years to create more nurses while at the same time the pandemic is not over its mutating in potentially dangerous ways.

    War actually makes a great petri dish for pandemic to enable super mutation in warzones.

    The planet will die if we cannot stop fighting and do something about climate that is substantial when mostly we have been making symbolic change.

    However as we change we need a new policy, right now a human life is worth about $13.

    The irony of the US laws on abortion is that here we say we treasure the foetus but as soon as its born the powers that be are fine for it to be starved to death within days of birth.

    Right now when Ai takes away your entire career the Government has no help to offer, not even foodstamps, although with 95% cuts to food stamps it would seem 99.9% of people are being tagged for extintion.

    The risk isn’t Ai getting out of control. The risk is that under US culture if a corporation doesn’t want you, you can either starve to death or wind up in prison.

    Ai is already being used to wipe out entire categories of work. The Fed claims the labor market has never been tighter, but this is either a lie or a total failure on their part. I think its total failure – they cannot tell the difference between an Ai generated ad that is a fraud designed to steal personal information with an actual legit job ad.

    These days as a job seeker its best to stick to applying to jobs listed directly on company websites. Job scams abound.

    The unfortunate reality is that not only have we not recovered from the pandemic, the pandemic hasn’t actually ended.

    The drive to put “butts in seats” is costing a great deal in terms of causing even worse air quality issues.

    Most people cannot conceptualize logarithmic phenomena, they think this warming is simply linear, that enough carbon credits can create the PR needed to keep people from worrying.

    But just like you cannot wish away a virus PR does nothing to insure the security of the food supply.

  • Many Millions Later

    2021-05-06

    So many dead even as things slow down here its hard to feel safe when it continues to explode elsewhere.

    Its easy to become consumed with anxiety even if you are relatively secure and protected.

    Even with the pandemic diminishing you have to wonder what new strain from another country could trigger a new surge?

    Things will never be “normal” again, after so much radical dislocation since 2008 nothing has been “normal” for a very, very long time.

  • Genesis Passing

    2020-03-16

    Back in 2017 I was able to see one of her last Psychic TV shows. Compared to say the Rolling Stones it was a small venue but the music was amazing and the light show and video.

    Now she’s gone, cancer taken her in the end.

    Ultimately all of us have a beginnging and end to a particular incarnation.

    We don’t know how many will fall to this pandemic for example.

    Now we don’t even know what will happen to music going forward.

    Bands and artists made their living off lives shows.

    When they get too sick like Genesis did they no longer have that income coming in and often have to live off the largess of fans.

    Its sad that all people whether they’re senators or artists have access to healthcare.

    But at the same time we all have a start and end to our incarnations barring the Singularity and some kind of brain dump into a machine.

    But could such a “Singularity” be a fate worse than death?

    Its hard to begin to describe the cultural impact of this artist and writer.

    Her Topy Bible is a good starting point.

    She also has an artist page on Spotify.

    So it Begins.

  • Destroyed by Covid

    2020-08-05

    Its estimated that unemployment in Los Angeles is over 80%. Yet the powers that be can only pay themselves billions of our money to create a crappy website telling people to “go find something new.” Excuse me when there are between 20-80 million who need a job and none available what is there to find?

    Somehow they assume that having been given a 60% cut in their income suddenly jobs will magically present themselves to all those laid off and the economy will instantly recover.

    They assume the lack of jobs is due to people refusing to work rather than employers refusing to hire. How is it so many intelligent people in the US live in poverty while a wealthy elite can barely rub 2 brain cells together to save their collective lives?

    In a sense the wealthy have managed to reverse the process of evolution where in the US the least fit are the most successful. Any error in judgement on their part is bailed out by the government with billions or even trillions in “free money” for those about to lose their shirt for their own poor judgement.

    The combined systems of unfair taxation and the indentured servitude program behind higher education have create a perfect storm of poverty.

    As a society we decided that work is worthless and the lives of working people are also completely without value. The powers that be are hard at work to “reform” lawsuits to shield the wealthy owners of people from any sort of liability from violating the safety and health of their workers and customers.

    At the same time that the vast majority of Americans in large cities are being severely thrown under a bus both parties are still spending trillions on the so called “defense industry.”

    When you allow almost 200,000 people to die in a short amount of time due to sheer complacency what is the point of continuing to spend all the available resources on police and soldiers who ultimately kill our own people.

    We are one of the few countries in the world where are own people are considered the enemy of the state and the state has very few friends, they consider perhaps only 1⁄2 of 1% of the country to be “real Americans.”

    There seems to be nothing we can do, it seems to be inevitable that we will have a dictatorship and slavery for 99.99% of the population here using technology to exert absolute control over everyone at all times, even in our dreams.

  • A Story

    She slid into bed next to

    me, she threw her tan

    long, tan legs over

    mine and said:

    “F_ck me, please.”

    I kissed her mouth.

    Our tongues twisted,

    I tasted her mouth, it

    had a cherry sherbert

    flavor, she smiled as

    we broke the kiss

    her black curls

    shimmering in the

    sun.

    I grabbed one big,

    ripe breast, and teasing

    and took the nipple

    full into my mouth.

    It hardened instantly,

    she moaned with

    passion, her smooth

    legs rubbing mine.

    She grabbed my dick,

    and my hand slid

    down to her wet mound,

    she squeezed my swollen

    penis up to her breast

    and began to rub it.

    I stroked her mound,

    kneading her clit, the moans

    as we came, the milky

    semen squirting on her dark

    nipple.

    She smiled.

    “We held each other

    close, I stroked her ample

    buttocks. When it was

    time, she rolled over,

    and I entered her from

    behind.

    Bye, Bye

    miss American Pie,

    Took the Chevy to the levee,

    But the levee went dry,

    The good old boys were

    drinking Whiskey & rye,

    & Singing

    This’ll be the day that I die,

    The day the music died

    On the Beach

    Why am I here?

    To get a tan?

    To praise the sun?

    Or the scratchy sand

    that beneath buttocks.

    Or to praise the waves?

    Or write ocean-polluted

    poetry of overburden,

    Ridden by copper-tanned

    Straddling saddles

    Of fiberglass.

    The sand is strewn

    with celluloid debris

    sacrificing write-ups

    to the sunless sky,

    Wall to wall people,

    Waves of flesh against

    waves of water,

    American music

    from transistor radios,

    And all the sand, sky

    and celluloid are one,

    The Beach.

    Cat Stevens, whats happened to you

    where have you gone

    To the faith of old Islam.

    Life could be a Sci-Fi novel

    Ads praising toilet paper

    like the messiah,

    Phallic ships soaring to the moon,

    Or to deliver atomic death,

    Couch potatoes collect radiation

    from their TV sets,

    While models collect

    cash for their printed

    photons.

    They glorify themselves

    In their stinkin’ tobacco

    and cheap cheapo.

    Heat is the sponge that soaks

    up hope. It burns, heats

    and melts, dragging away life,

    sucking like an infant’s mouth

    upon the nipple of life.

    When do you kill?

    you fill the drainage

    ditch with bodies,

    To satisfy you lust,

    Cravings of your

    mad gods.

    But do the gods listen,

    or do they simply float

    away,

    On a cloud or non-existence

    You make the world stink

    with the stench of burning

    flesh body,

    But only the youth, children

    die.

    They say that your gods

    are the worst.

    But I think not.

    You sacrifice fourteen,

    But ten million die for

    the Power.

  • Explodes

    The electricity sizzled and

    popped, as the huge spark shot

    up through metal tires, and into

    the open air, exploding into a

    brilliant green blue flash. Wheels

    spun, lights flashed on, and the

    machine was on. The scientist

    sitting at the controls flipped a

    switch, and was instantly

    transported across the lab basement

    floor.

    His colleagues stood in amazement,

    stunned at his accomplishment, so

    stunned, that in fact, they decided

    to pretend that the event had

    never happened, and so in their

    own stuffy Victorian ways, they

    dismissed it as parlor magic, and

    kicked Dr. Long out of the society of science

    for fraud.

    Dr. Long packed the machine in

    disgust.

    “Thirty years of work thrown

    away in an instant by a bunch of

    overstuffed narrow-minded cynics,

    who try to call themselves

    scientists, Rumpth!!”

    He checked the coils of his

    machine for overheating. His machine

    — a machine that could travel over

    any given distance in an instant of

    time, seemed to defy all the

    known laws of physics, but

    still, it had to work, he

    had devoted his life to the

    idea of instant transportation,

    but his colleagues just laughed,

    and told him to stick to trains

    and horses, but he would

    show them.

    The hate inside him grew

    in intensity, as he plotted his

    revenge.

    “I can use my machine against

    them. They will see that I’m

    not an insane parlor magician.

    I will show them all, the

    world will pay for this

    mistake!!”

    And, try tried to make them

    pay, but failed. The first

    time, he tried to dematerialize

    into one of his colleague’s homes

    he dematerialized inside

    his former colleagues breakfast

    table, and died instantly.

    So the world would have to

    wait for Dr. Long’s revolutionary

    device to be reinvented at a later

    time.

    The giant absentminded

    scratched his crotch. Being

    a giant is an awful burden, the

    thought, as he absentminded trampled

    a flock of sheep.

    Arrows shot up at him through

    the darkness, repelled by his thick

    clothing, as he trampled these

    ant-men with their useless

    stingers.

    Later that night as the giant

    pooped in a field or kicked an

    entire castle across a wooden

    field, then suddenly in a

    stroke of unwritten or good luck,

    a bolt of lightning shot out

    of the heavens to claim the stupid

    and idiotic and useless life of

    the giant, who should have

    never existed, but in the

    minds of some twisted

    men.

    The fat magistrate shifted his

    bloated body on the two chairs

    that were necessary to support

    his exorbitant bulk.

    He tossed the globe up and

    down in his pudgy fingers,

    pleased with himself for having

    fired an employee that morning.

    His job was to make people

    miserable, and he was quite

    good at it, almost as good as

    the famous motion picture

    lounge singer Boothy

    Bemment.

    A conclusion about how the side of our guilt

    apart.

    The Antony at the beginning

    of the play is greatly different from

    the Antony at the end of the play.

    On the beginning of the play,

    Antony is like a wolf, seeking

    revenge on the killers of Caesar.

    But at the end of the play, Antony

    understands why the con-

    spirators did what they did, but

    he understands also why Brutus

    killed Caesar, and he forgives and

    praises Brutus. Antony changes

    greatly from the beginning of the

    play, to the end.

    In the beginning of the play,

    Antony is a wolf, seeking revenge

    for Caesar upon the conspirators.

    Wait! We see to the fact that shed this

    costly blood!” In the preceding quote,

    Antony is cursing the conspirators,

    and like a mother bear avenging her

    slaughtered cubs, he is pitting himself

    against the killers of Caesar, at all cost.

    he says that to avenge the

    murder, Antony says that a curse

    shall light upon the limbs

    of men, and that blood

    and destruction will be seen

    and that mothers will but smile

    when they see their babies

    quartered with the hands of war.

    In the preceding quote, Antony

    is again revealing himself

    to be like a beast in a blind rage,

    who because of his anger at

    the conspirators, is willing to

    sacrifice the lives of hundreds of

    people to avenge Caesar.

    Antony at the end of the play,

    differs from the Antony at the begin-

    ning, in that, like a wise old

    man who sees the truth. “All the

    conspirators, save all he, did that

    they did in general envy of great

    Caesar…” This quote shows

    that Antony has changed.

    He no longer believes that all of the

    conspirators killed Caesar for their

    own personal gains, although he

    knows that most of the conspirators

    killed Caesar out of envy, he knows

    that Brutus killed Caesar for what he

    believes to be the general good of Rome.

    Antony says that he was gentle and that

    a general honest thought and

    common good to all, made one

    of them. “His life was gentle,

    and the elements so mixed in

    him that nature might stand up

    and say to all of the world

    ‘This was a man!’” Antony

    is revealing that he has forgiven

    Antony, and that he no longer

    instead of vehemently hating

    Brutus, he honors him. Instead

    instead of seeing Brutus as the

    dark assassin who murdered

    his greatest friend, Antony sees

    Brutus as the

    greatest Roman who

    ever lived, who sacrificed

    his friend Caesar, so

    that Rome might live

    free.

    Antony the Antony at the

    beginning of the play is greatly

    different from the Antony at the

    end, for in the beginning of the

    play, Antony is like a ferocious

    beast, because he has an intense

    blind rage,

    and he can’t see all of the motives

    of the conspirators. But at the

    end of the play, he sees for the

    light, that not all of the killers

    of Caesar killed him for their own

    personal gain, namely Brutus. From

    the beginning to the end of the play,

    Antony goes through changes, changes

    that make him realize the motives of

    the assassins, and that Brutus’ were genuinely pure.

    There was a bird

    And it roared

    He awoke abruptly

    awoke to the rude bugler’s scream,

    but he didn’t know who

    he is, where he is, or

    where he’s been. He lay on

    his olive green U.S. Army

    shirt and “Potato Potato”

    but he’d never heard that

    name before.

    The drill sergeant shouted

    into the barracks, like

    a raging hurricane, and

    bellowed, “Drop your

    cocks, and grab your

    socks, you’ve got 5 minutes

    to hit shower and

    shave,!!”

    “What am I doing

    here,” cried Patty despondently,

    as he tried to trace the logic

    of his situation.

    Momma wanna know me?

    I burnt L.A. in effigy.

    I took my L.A. poster off the wall,

    and brought it down to the shopping mall,

    Momma wanna be proud of me,

    I burnt L.A. in effigy.

  • Alex

    11/18/86

    Later that

    night Alex and I stayed

    up until 1:00 watching

    movies. The next day

    I didn’t do much except

    sleep and water my

    grandparents garden. I went

    to mass that night.

    Today I went to

    mass, watered and

    got $25 for the week.

    I’ve been

    depressed lately. The

    people in my gym

    class put me down

    because I’m not

    good in sports. Some

    of them call me

    “beastman!!” I got

    my report card

    today.

    I got an A in PE, an A

    in Photo, an A in history,

    a B in English, a B in Spanish,

    and a C in Algebra.

    I am struggling in Spanish

    and I hope that I can

    keep the B.

    11/27/86 Today was a great

    Thanksgiving, much better

    than last year. I remember

    when I had the flat top,

    last Thanksgiving we were

    at Aunt Doris and Uncle

    Godfrey’s, (God rest his soul)

    turkey we ate gross

    turkey for lunch and

    Mexican food (yuck!)

    for dinner. Then we

    watched Rocky IV. This

    year we (Mom, Dad,

    and Mike (Mike went with

    Matt to Point Mugu at 6:00)

    Grandma and Goompa,

    Bernia and Mary Ann celebrated

    Thanksgiving at Grandma

    and Goompa’s house. We

    ate turkey, stuffing,

    mashed potatoes, and

    candied yams (first time

    I ever tried them,

    they were pretty good too!)

    I had a lot to

    be thankful for.

    I thankful for. I

    think the Lord that

    we all could be there

    (Goompa was feeling

    pretty low a little while

    back) I hope that

    Grandfather fully recovers

    from the bleeding he

    had had. I have

    decided to tape

    Star Trek every night

    to make a media collection.

    What is life, but death

    And, what is death, but a

    rebirth of life.

    The end is in itself, but

    a new beginning, while

    an old beginning is but

    a new ending.

    2/24/87 I haven’t written

    for a long time, but

    I want to record the

    event that happened tonight.

    It actually snowed!

    For the first time in

    11 years, it snowed! We

    played in the snow and I

    hope it snows

    more so we

    don’t have

    to go to

    school

    tomorrow.

    Note: When writing the

    beginning of a story

    put the character in

    to a dangerous

    situation at first, but

    have him reflect

    on his past

    circumstances that

    led him to the present

    situation or at least

    or have another

    character or another

    narrator telling

    a story.

    “Instead of griping about the lyrics,

    just enjoy the music” – Brian Redfern

    Grayson was an Asper, a

    person who is genetically

    engineered to use Psi powers.

    He was fleeing from Earth.

    Yesterday I heard a noise.

    It was so loud it ruined my poise.

    I looked up from my studies

    And spied some pudgy buddies

    Playing with their dirty toys.

    “Get against the wall, Earth

    man,”

    The Altrusian roughly pushed

    me up against the wall, although

    human the Altrusian

    I never liked Altrusians. They

    looked like a cross between a

    blob of slime and a wart-

    hog and smelled like it too.

    They felt like the owned the

    galaxy.