The Temple of Tarot

Category: diary

My diary entries of both magical and dream work going back to my childhood in 1986.

  • October Diary

    10/13/86

    Well today was pretty uneventfull. The only things that happened were that I got scared out of my boots when I saw a snake. I tried to kill it, but never found it. I also got my part for drama and I’m an Irish boy.

    I had a bad experience at P.E. at school, because everyone was blaming me for the losses we had. I found out that 2nd semester I will have to take an art class because Mr. Bishop is moving to Oregon.

    10/14/86 Today I didn’t do all that much. I had a wierd math practice test during English. I talked to Amy during P.E. I found out that she is adopted and is from England. After school I went to Crown and bought my mother a book as a B-day present. Mike and I fought over how much he owed me.

    10/21/86 Well, its been a while since I last wrote. Not much has happened between these dates. I got a new role in acting class, I’m an Irish idiot who gets killed at sea bringing horses to the fair. And a few tests. In Mrs. Lee’s class we are starting “Fahrenheit 451.” We are starting volleyball in P.E., the people on my team wouldn’t let me play, though.

    10/28/86 Well, it has been a few days since I’ve written. I haven’t done much, except get ready for Halloween. This year I was invited to a party at Mike Rupp’s, but I declined, because I’m party sick. Also, in Theater Theater Class we are doing our plays in a real theater. One – a real theater. Unfortunately, I don’t have that big of a part, because my character gets killed early on in the play.

  • 80s Text

    10/12/86

    Well, I decided to start a journal today. Strange things are
    happening to me – I mean on Friday this Korean girl
    named Amy outright tells me that she likes me, just
    like that. Then this girl, Elisabeth Tuttle, who hasn’t
    spoken nicely to me in years, starts to go after
    me, I can tell, Mrs. Lee gives us a whole list
    of words we can’t use when we write, screw
    her. Well I’ll end this entry with saying that
    I’m not used to having girls go crazy over me.

  • Talking to Pigeons

    9/3/1986

    Once long ago there lived

    a hobbit but not an ordinary hobbit,

    mind you, but a very adventurous

    one, there is a journal of his adventures.

    One bright and sunny morning,

    Sam was walking down the road,

    cape as in his tweeds, a large white wolf

    jumped out at him, so he drew his

    dagger, and stabbed the wolf as it

    lunged at him, so he went and rang

    the wolf alarm and then raced swiftly

    to his hole. Suddenly his hole started

    cave-in and ran OUT as fast

    as he could, BUT as he ran out,

    a fire-breathing dragon cornered

    and roasted him.

    Once long ago there was a

    clarinet player named Brian. The

    clarinet player was the best clarinet player

    in the land.

    One day, he decided to take

    a walk in the woods.

    my theory of man:

    evolution of man, is

    that man is just

    learning to use his

    mental powers, just

    as early man, just

    began to use his physical

    power.

    One evening three wargamers

    were enjoying themselves at a good

    game of (T) Traveller. “I’ll look

    soon, they started to wonder

    “what happened to gamemaster?”

    they were play a Traveller board

    game because it doesn’t need a

    gamemaster. Suddenly he walked

    through the door, Mr. Slorance

    was the gamemaster. He was

    also the school historian. He

    was a tall, thin and gray

    man (w-) at the age of 60.

    He sat down a newly made

    module and said, “Sorry

    I’m late, but I have a new

    scenario, let me begin.” “I suppose

    you have all of your old

    characters because I will

    take experienced characters

    to play this module. Let “you

    are (on) shipwrecked on a

    strange planet,” “It seems to

    be uninhabited.” “Before you were

    shipwrecked your cruiser was

    attacked by cosmic pirates.” Suddenly

    the gamemaster broke into laughter

    and the room was filled with smoke

    (A) Suddenly the young gamers found

    that they were in the far future,

    and they weren’t gaming anymore.

    Each of them, (A) (must) (be) David,

    Wendell

    and Mark had a puzzled look on

    their face. They didn’t know what to think.

    This is the story of a group of

    freedom fighters in the far fu-

    ture. Now the Earth is a barren

    wasteland, the only forests

    are succulents. (dom) The Earth

    was taken over by the

    Succulents. The succulents are

    an alien race, they can be

    described as human-shaped

    and sized succulent.

    Their goal, is to take

    all the moisture from

    from our planet and

    return to their home

    planet. Our story begins

    with a group of freedom

    fighters who have

    stowed away on an

    alien ship. Once they

    ship touched ground the

    freedom fighters

    There was once a fat gnome

    named Matt who got his

    jollies from a baseball bat

    he rubbed and he rubbed

    till his dick was but

    a stub and he exclaimed

    “I regret that!”

    I had a dream that

    I was camping in

    the Australian Outback

    with my scout troop

    and a girl scout troop,

    all the girl scouts

    were real good

    looking, I had a

    friend who was

    an aborigine

    who was lost

    from his tribe

    so that night

    I tried to

    help him,

    until I was

    caught

    by the

    scouts who

    thought

    I wanted to go and

    make-out with one

    of the girl scouts.

    The next night

    the girl scouts and

    boy scouts were all

    making-out in

    a big shack. A

    beautiful blonde picked

    me up and said, “come

    on, lets go make-out

    with the rest.” But

    we were too late

    and the girl scout

    leader said that all

    of this would go

    on to ~~not~~ fucking go

    she made us stop, my

    we got home on a Monday.

    All of this took place

    in an Australian jungle.

    The Pigeon Man – One day

    after our class

    oceanography trip

    out to the forest,

    we encountered

    a strange old

    man who

    was calling

    the pigeons

    “Little

    Bums”,

    he kept

    disappearing

    and then showing up

    again – like he did when

    we had to leave, but

    then he popped up in

    the bathroom standing

    next to us using the

    urinal next to

    us. One time he

    had disappeared and

    then reappeared, telling

    us all about the

    different languages

    he knew. He would

    dig in trashcans

    for food for the

    pigeons. David

    Pimley’s mom

    said that he was

    overfriendly because

    he was lonely – so that

    was why

    he was talking to the pigeons. I think he popped-up so much because I was friendly to him and he wanted to be friends with me. I would have become friends with him, but I had to leave.

    I think that all the nations of Earth should write, and rename Earth using its Latin name, Terra.

    (Illustration page containing an inverted sketch of a man in a shirt and tie)

    (Illustration page containing an inverted sketch of a man wearing a belt, pants, and shirt)

    There was once an old man named Arthur on a bench. He wore a sweater.

    Whether death is death or life is life doesn’t matter. What matters is the preservation of humanity and the common respect that comes out of Christianity.

    “Where you are, so I have been, where I am, so you shall be.” A quote from a gravestone.

    Tensions had been incredible between the two super-powers for decades. The year is 1999. Boom!!!

    How I hate thee, let me list the ways. Your dirty body, Your scummy breath, Your pale face,

    I am as I am, and so I will be, but how that I am none knoweth trulie.

    If you love someone… set them free, but if they don’t come back, hunt them down and kill them

  • Lapses

    3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

    over responsibility for

    lapses

    Haven’t been able to

    do any home rituals,

    but will start doing

    LRBP in bathroom to keep

    it going –

    Banishing dagger arrived,

    have to email prev.

    owner to see that

    it wasn’t used to

    cut any living flesh. I

    wonder if it needs

    to be consecrated?

    to OSOGD, don’t

    have to pay lodge fees

    cause I long distance,

    need to find

    Scott on Theurgy &

    also look “the Cult of

    Tara” about Tibetan

    magick.

    Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

    so I must be on right

    path,

    3/28/05 (Friday)

    Sun, morning

    Heard loud sound

    from SUV at

    2 AM, then it goes

    off, did ~~LRBP~~

    LRBP to ward off,

    after hit the deck

    for a while

    11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

    with Soror Hell (Barbados)

    & Sam Webster – hope

    to gain initiation

    3/24/04

    – On trial for

    life, over magick.

    reliving witch trials?

    3/25/04

    still have some fear,

    suppression, oppression

    12 AM – Tai Chi –

    a pad w/

    anger / irritation

    3/22/05 Dream

    couldn’t sell “cursed

    property”.

    3/23/05

    “Don’t know the world –

    running around, trying to

    sell & so forth”

    3-21-05

    11:50 AM L.R.B.P.

    finally got it correct,

    including drawing the

    circle from center

    to center, the

    space I did it in

    has a different feel,

    like there’s more

    energy there, now

    I can add the other

    part of making the

    gesture that DMK

    adds.

    Used finger instead of

    the butter knife, since

    I need a real magick

    dagger, not some prosaic

    butter knife used for

    kitchen.

    Dream:

    someone try to

    force us to pay

    exorbitant cult-like fees

    to learn magick

    3/20/05

    Dream – worried

    worried for the estate

    of a magician passed

    on, realizing it’s ok to

    show the man having

    fun & joking, it’s ok to

    have sense of humor.

    3/19/05

    4 AM – Lesser Banishing

    pentagram – always

    good before bed,

    try to clear out

    the space, energy

    down the street,

    cops, paramedics,

    needed to cleanse

    space

    Dream – always running

    from something?

    (pentagram sketch)

  • Egyptian Dreams

    3-21-05

    11:50 AM L.R.B.P.

    finally got it correct,

    including drawing the

    circle from center

    to center, the

    space I did it in

    has a different feel,

    like there’s more

    energy there, now

    I can add the other

    part of making the

    gesture that DMK

    adds.

    3/20/05

    Dream – worried

    worried for the estate

    of a magician passed

    on, realizing it’s ok to

    show the man having

    fun & joking, it’s ok to

    have sense of humor.

    3/19/05

    4 AM – Lesser Banishing

    pentagram – always

    good before bed,

    try to clear out

    the space, energy

    down the street,

    cops, paramedics,

    needed to cleanse

    space

    Dream – always running

    from something?

    (pentagram sketch)

    4-1-05

    Dream $\rightarrow$ accuring

    anti-authority film

    4-3-05

    Didn’t remember

    New #

    4/4/05

    $\rightarrow$ 3/21/05 L.R.B.P.

    lacking resource.

    Egyptian & Greek

    paganism, because

    its not the then

    still illegal indigenous

    witchcraft of Britain

    (scribbled-out diagram text)

    Crowley had to shade

    the language in terms

    of human sacrifice

    because of the

    obscenity laws in

    Britain, it was a

    crime to write

    about sex, and

    even a crime to

    write about witchcraft.

    So you see, the

    emphasis on

    He’s not talking

    about an actual

    grown kid. As soon

    as the sperm enters

    the egg, it’s corrupted

    from its original source,

    He was talking about

    sexual acts that

    don’t result in

    procreation. So the

    sperm is “the purest

    male child”, because

    it’s that pure male

    potential.

    Zen roshi English

    madness caused

    some unfortunate

    obfuscation and

    confusion.

    Back at the beginning

    of the Christian

    church sperm

    was considered sacred,

    so when Crowley

    says “the best

    sacrifice is a child

    of highest int. . .”

    of personality.

    But they don’t really

    get it.

    ~~these same critics~~

    ~~usually have no problem~~

    ~~following their~~

    Well, to each their own,

    Certainly there’s a

    huge latitude for

    acting in anything.

    Crowley had some

    interesting insights, but

    his twisted sense

    of humor & general

    Seems like it doesn’t,

    not sure.

    Should move on to

    Crowley Star Ruby,

    because it has the

    new aeon names.

    Went to gnostic

    mass on Sunday

    Interesting experience.

    Some argue that

    a ritualized mass is uncreative,

    a rote re-run of

    Crowley’s ritual, a cult

  • Practice

    3/28/05 (Friday)

    Sun, morning

    Heard loud sound

    from SUV at

    2 AM, then it goes

    off, did ~~LRBP~~

    LRBP to ward off,

    after hit the deck

    for a while

    11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

    with Soror Hell (Barbados)

    & Sam Webster – hope

    to gain initiation

    3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

    over responsibility for

    lapses

    Haven’t been able to

    do any home rituals,

    but will start doing

    LRBP in bathroom to keep

    it going –

    Banishing dagger arrived,

    have to email prev.

    owner to see that

    it wasn’t used to

    cut any living flesh. I

    wonder if it needs

    to be consecrated?

    to OSOGD, don’t

    have to pay lodge fees

    cause I long distance,

    need to find

    Scott on Theurgy &

    also look “the Cult of

    Tara” about Tibetan

    magick.

    Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

    so I must be on right

    path,

    Seems like it doesn’t,

    not sure.

    Should move on to

    Crowley Star Ruby,

    because it has the

    new aeon names.

    Went to gnostic

    mass on Sunday

    Interesting experience.

    Some argue that

    a ritualized mass is uncreative,

    a rote re-run of

    Crowley’s ritual, a cult

    Used finger instead of

    the butter knife, since

    I need a real magick

    dagger, not some prosaic

    butter knife used for

    kitchen.

    Dream:

    someone try to

    force us to pay

    exorbitant cult-like fees

    to learn magick

    3/22/05 Dream

    couldn’t sell “cursed

    property”.

    3/23/05

    “Don’t know the world –

    running around, trying to

    sell & so forth”

    3/24/04

    – On trial for

    life, over magick.

    reliving witch trials?

    3/25/04

    still have some fear,

    suppression, oppression

    12 AM – Tai Chi –

    a pad w/

    anger / irritation

  • Sacrifices

    3/28/05 (Friday)

    Sun, morning

    Heard loud sound

    from SUV at

    2 AM, then it goes

    off, did ~~LRBP~~

    LRBP to ward off,

    after hit the deck

    for a while

    11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

    with Soror Hell (Barbados)

    & Sam Webster – hope

    to gain initiation

    3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

    over responsibility for

    lapses

    Haven’t been able to

    do any home rituals,

    but will start doing

    LRBP in bathroom to keep

    it going –

    Banishing dagger arrived,

    have to email prev.

    owner to see that

    it wasn’t used to

    cut any living flesh. I

    wonder if it needs

    to be consecrated?

    to OSOGD, don’t

    have to pay lodge fees

    cause I long distance,

    need to find

    Scott on Theurgy &

    also look “the Cult of

    Tara” about Tibetan

    magick.

    Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

    so I must be on right

    path,

    Seems like it doesn’t,

    not sure.

    Should move on to

    Crowley Star Ruby,

    because it has the

    new aeon names.

    Went to gnostic

    mass on Sunday

    Interesting experience.

    Some argue that

    a ritualized mass is uncreative,

    a rote re-run of

    Crowley’s ritual, a cult

    of personality.

    But they don’t really

    get it.

    ~~these same critics~~

    ~~usually have no problem~~

    ~~following their~~

    Well, to each their own,

    Certainly there’s a

    huge latitude for

    acting in anything.

    Crowley had some

    interesting insights, but

    his twisted sense

    of humor & general

    Zen roshi English

    madness caused

    some unfortunate

    obfuscation and

    confusion.

    Back at the beginning

    of the Christian

    church sperm

    was considered sacred,

    so when Crowley

    says “the best

    sacrifice is a child

    of highest int. . .”

  • Sunday Gnostic Mass

    3/31/05

    Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

    over responsibility for

    lapses

    Haven’t been able to

    do any home rituals,

    but will start doing

    LRBP in bathroom to keep

    it going –

    Banishing dagger arrived,

    have to email prev.

    owner to see that

    it wasn’t used to

    cut any living flesh. I

    wonder if it needs

    to be consecrated?

    to OSOGD, don’t

    have to pay lodge fees

    cause I long distance,

    need to find

    Scott on Theurgy &

    also look “the Cult of

    Tara” about Tibetan

    magick.

    Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

    so I must be on right

    path,

    Seems like it doesn’t,

    not sure.

    Should move on to

    Crowley Star Ruby,

    because it has the

    new aeon names.

    Went to gnostic

    mass on Sunday

    Interesting experience.

    Some argue that

    a ritualized mass is uncreative,

    a rote re-run of

    Crowley’s ritual, a cult

  • LRBP

    Dream

    Alienated from fine society,

    running, trying to get into

    club, kicked out by bouncer

    for no shirt

    3-18-05

    Dream

    $\rightarrow$ more crowded, blocked

    ~~by trees~~ by brambles

    Scientol. trying to con-

    vince about the

    immortality of LKH

    Tarot meditation – reading

    Duquette’s Thoth Tarot,

    about Archangel

    3/19/05

    4 AM – Lesser Banishing

    pentagram – always

    good before bed,

    try to clear out

    the space, energy

    down the street,

    cops, paramedics,

    needed to cleanse

    space

    Dream – always running

    from something?

    (pentagram sketch)

    3/20/05

    Dream – worried

    worried for the estate

    of a magician passed

    on, realizing it’s ok to

    show the man having

    fun & joking, it’s ok to

    have sense of humor.

    3-21-05

    11:50 AM L.R.B.P.

    finally got it correct,

    including drawing the

    circle from center

    to center, the

    space I did it in

    has a different feel,

    like there’s more

    energy there, now

    I can add the other

    part of making the

    gesture that DMK

    adds.

    Used finger instead of

    the butter knife, since

    I need a real magick

    dagger, not some prosaic

    butter knife used for

    kitchen.

    Dream:

    someone try to

    force us to pay

    exorbitant cult-like fees

    to learn magick

    3/22/05 Dream

    couldn’t sell “cursed

    property”.

    3/23/05

    “Don’t know the world –

    running around, trying to

    sell & so forth”

    3/24/04

    – On trial for

    life, over magick.

    reliving witch trials?

    3/25/04

    still have some fear,

    suppression, oppression

    12 AM – Tai Chi –

    a pad w/

    anger / irritation

    3/28/05 (Friday)

    Sun, morning

    Heard loud sound

    from SUV at

    2 AM, then it goes

    off, did ~~LRBP~~

    LRBP to ward off,

    after hit the deck

    for a while

    11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

    with Soror Hell (Barbados)

    & Sam Webster – hope

    to gain initiation

    to OSOGD, don’t

    have to pay lodge fees

    cause I long distance,

    need to find

    Scott on Theurgy &

    also look “the Cult of

    Tara” about Tibetan

    magick.

    Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

    so I must be on right

    path,

    3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

    over responsibility for

    lapses

    Haven’t been able to

    do any home rituals,

    but will start doing

    LRBP in bathroom to keep

    it going –

    Banishing dagger arrived,

    have to email prev.

    owner to see that

    it wasn’t used to

    cut any living flesh. I

    wonder if it needs

    to be consecrated?

  • Another Dream

    3-18-05

    Alienated from fine society,

    running, trying to get into

    club, kicked out by bouncer

    for no shirt

    Dream

    $\rightarrow$ more crowded, blocked

    ~~by trees~~ by brambles

    Scientol. trying to con-

    vince about the

    immortality of LKH

    Tarot meditation – reading

    Duquette’s Thoth Tarot,

    about Archangel

    3/19/05

    4 AM – Lesser Banishing

    pentagram – always

    good before bed,

    try to clear out

    the space, energy

    down the street,

    cops, paramedics,

    needed to cleanse

    space

    Dream – always running

    from something?

    (pentagram sketch)

    3/20/05

    Dream – worried

    worried for the estate

    of a magician passed

    on, realizing it’s ok to

    show the man having

    fun & joking, it’s ok to

    have sense of humor.

    3-21-05

    11:50 AM L.R.B.P.

    finally got it correct,

    including drawing the

    circle from center

    to center, the

    space I did it in

    has a different feel,

    like there’s more

    energy there, now

    I can add the other

    part of making the

    gesture that DMK

    adds.

    Used finger instead of

    the butter knife, since

    I need a real magick

    dagger, not some prosaic

    butter knife used for

    kitchen.

    Dream:

    someone try to

    force us to pay

    exorbitant cult-like fees

    to learn magick

    3/22/05 Dream

    couldn’t sell “cursed

    property”.

    3/23/05

    “Don’t know the world –

    running around, trying to

    sell & so forth”

    3/24/04

    – On trial for

    life, over magick.

    reliving witch trials?

    3/25/04

    still have some fear,

    suppression, oppression

    12 AM – Tai Chi –

    a pad w/

    anger / irritation

    3/28/05 (Friday)

    Sun, morning

    Heard loud sound

    from SUV at

    2 AM, then it goes

    off, did ~~LRBP~~

    LRBP to ward off,

    after hit the deck

    for a while

    11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

    with Soror Hell (Barbados)

    & Sam Webster – hope

    to gain initiation

    to OSOGD, don’t

    have to pay lodge fees

    cause I long distance,

    need to find

    Scott on Theurgy &

    also look “the Cult of

    Tara” about Tibetan

    magick.

    Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

    so I must be on right

    path,

    3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

    over responsibility for

    lapses

    Haven’t been able to

    do any home rituals,

    but will start doing

    LRBP in bathroom to keep

    it going –

    Banishing dagger arrived,

    have to email prev.

    owner to see that

    it wasn’t used to

    cut any living flesh. I

    wonder if it needs

    to be consecrated?