Category: poetry

3/28/05 (Friday)

Sun, morning

Heard loud sound

from SUV at

2 AM, then it goes

off, did ~~LRBP~~

LRBP to ward off,

after hit the deck

for a while

11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

with Soror Hell (Barbados)

& Sam Webster – hope

to gain initiation

3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

over responsibility for

lapses

Haven’t been able to

do any home rituals,

but will start doing

LRBP in bathroom to keep

it going –

Banishing dagger arrived,

have to email prev.

owner to see that

it wasn’t used to

cut any living flesh. I

wonder if it needs

to be consecrated?

to OSOGD, don’t

have to pay lodge fees

cause I long distance,

need to find

Scott on Theurgy &

also look “the Cult of

Tara” about Tibetan

magick.

Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

so I must be on right

path,

Seems like it doesn’t,

not sure.

Should move on to

Crowley Star Ruby,

because it has the

new aeon names.

Went to gnostic

mass on Sunday

Interesting experience.

Some argue that

a ritualized mass is uncreative,

a rote re-run of

Crowley’s ritual, a cult

of personality.

But they don’t really

get it.

~~these same critics~~

~~usually have no problem~~

~~following their~~

Well, to each their own,

Certainly there’s a

huge latitude for

acting in anything.

Crowley had some

interesting insights, but

his twisted sense

of humor & general

Zen roshi English

madness caused

some unfortunate

obfuscation and

confusion.

Back at the beginning

of the Christian

church sperm

was considered sacred,

so when Crowley

says “the best

sacrifice is a child

of highest int. . .”

Dream

Alienated from fine society,

running, trying to get into

club, kicked out by bouncer

for no shirt

3-18-05

Dream

$\rightarrow$ more crowded, blocked

~~by trees~~ by brambles

Scientol. trying to con-

vince about the

immortality of LKH

Tarot meditation – reading

Duquette’s Thoth Tarot,

about Archangel

3/19/05

4 AM – Lesser Banishing

pentagram – always

good before bed,

try to clear out

the space, energy

down the street,

cops, paramedics,

needed to cleanse

space

Dream – always running

from something?

(pentagram sketch)

3/20/05

Dream – worried

worried for the estate

of a magician passed

on, realizing it’s ok to

show the man having

fun & joking, it’s ok to

have sense of humor.

3-21-05

11:50 AM L.R.B.P.

finally got it correct,

including drawing the

circle from center

to center, the

space I did it in

has a different feel,

like there’s more

energy there, now

I can add the other

part of making the

gesture that DMK

adds.

Used finger instead of

the butter knife, since

I need a real magick

dagger, not some prosaic

butter knife used for

kitchen.

Dream:

someone try to

force us to pay

exorbitant cult-like fees

to learn magick

3/22/05 Dream

couldn’t sell “cursed

property”.

3/23/05

“Don’t know the world –

running around, trying to

sell & so forth”

3/24/04

– On trial for

life, over magick.

reliving witch trials?

3/25/04

still have some fear,

suppression, oppression

12 AM – Tai Chi –

a pad w/

anger / irritation

3/28/05 (Friday)

Sun, morning

Heard loud sound

from SUV at

2 AM, then it goes

off, did ~~LRBP~~

LRBP to ward off,

after hit the deck

for a while

11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

with Soror Hell (Barbados)

& Sam Webster – hope

to gain initiation

to OSOGD, don’t

have to pay lodge fees

cause I long distance,

need to find

Scott on Theurgy &

also look “the Cult of

Tara” about Tibetan

magick.

Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

so I must be on right

path,

3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

over responsibility for

lapses

Haven’t been able to

do any home rituals,

but will start doing

LRBP in bathroom to keep

it going –

Banishing dagger arrived,

have to email prev.

owner to see that

it wasn’t used to

cut any living flesh. I

wonder if it needs

to be consecrated?

3-18-05

Alienated from fine society,

running, trying to get into

club, kicked out by bouncer

for no shirt

Dream

$\rightarrow$ more crowded, blocked

~~by trees~~ by brambles

Scientol. trying to con-

vince about the

immortality of LKH

Tarot meditation – reading

Duquette’s Thoth Tarot,

about Archangel

3/19/05

4 AM – Lesser Banishing

pentagram – always

good before bed,

try to clear out

the space, energy

down the street,

cops, paramedics,

needed to cleanse

space

Dream – always running

from something?

(pentagram sketch)

3/20/05

Dream – worried

worried for the estate

of a magician passed

on, realizing it’s ok to

show the man having

fun & joking, it’s ok to

have sense of humor.

3-21-05

11:50 AM L.R.B.P.

finally got it correct,

including drawing the

circle from center

to center, the

space I did it in

has a different feel,

like there’s more

energy there, now

I can add the other

part of making the

gesture that DMK

adds.

Used finger instead of

the butter knife, since

I need a real magick

dagger, not some prosaic

butter knife used for

kitchen.

Dream:

someone try to

force us to pay

exorbitant cult-like fees

to learn magick

3/22/05 Dream

couldn’t sell “cursed

property”.

3/23/05

“Don’t know the world –

running around, trying to

sell & so forth”

3/24/04

– On trial for

life, over magick.

reliving witch trials?

3/25/04

still have some fear,

suppression, oppression

12 AM – Tai Chi –

a pad w/

anger / irritation

3/28/05 (Friday)

Sun, morning

Heard loud sound

from SUV at

2 AM, then it goes

off, did ~~LRBP~~

LRBP to ward off,

after hit the deck

for a while

11:30–12:30 PM Conversation

with Soror Hell (Barbados)

& Sam Webster – hope

to gain initiation

to OSOGD, don’t

have to pay lodge fees

cause I long distance,

need to find

Scott on Theurgy &

also look “the Cult of

Tara” about Tibetan

magick.

Don Milo is OSOGD initiate

so I must be on right

path,

3/31/05 Dream $\rightarrow$ taking

over responsibility for

lapses

Haven’t been able to

do any home rituals,

but will start doing

LRBP in bathroom to keep

it going –

Banishing dagger arrived,

have to email prev.

owner to see that

it wasn’t used to

cut any living flesh. I

wonder if it needs

to be consecrated?

3/3/05

morning

12 AM –

double wands,

relaxation

Weather:

rainy

Body:

lungs

hurt, hurt

Evening

11 pm

Weather:

dry

Body: relaxed,

little asthma

Pentagram work

concentrated on

seeing the blue

light

3/3/05

borrychem, top of a

group of 4 loud

people who want

to stop practice

3/4/05

Evening 8:30pm

breath of fire,

HUM I HUM mantra

body: lungs still hurt

weather: dry, but

wet street

result: total clearing

of lungs, but

some amplified aggression

3/5/05 Dream -> fled

too fast to record,

but I’m betting there’s

a repetitive pattern

related to lawsuit

DATE: 3/5/05 DAY: ~~SUNDAY~~

TIME: 10:40 AM

Phase of moon: 3 past last

quarter

weather: Sunny, not too

warm

Emotions: Just had fight

about pres / leader.

Name of ritual:

Tarot meditation

its supposed to connect

each of the pentagrams

to each other, but

the first time I

drew a circle about

each pentagram,

but then I

re-ran the ritual

correctly. Now I

suppose the bathroom

is well protected,

but need altar &

oil & katha, etc.

I felt calm, body was

normal, but I didn’t

do yoga, just the

meditation, but also

had 9mg of melatonin,

so that helps get into

the mind-state.

After I had some

strange dreams, but

had too fitful sleep

to remember much.

Heard a screeching sound

outside later on,

but could’ve been

drunk girl coming home

from date.

3/15/05

9:00am

Dream:

young ladies rapidly

degrade into old

crones in front of my

eyes.

11:30pm L.R.B.P.

— used osogd ritual

instead of DK’s, and

osogd is much easier

to perform.

Now the house has a

deep sense of calm.

Did the ritual in main

room, not bathroom.

Now I need to do

midnight sunrise

salutation

11:54pm sunrise salutation

did a short 1 min

sunrise salutation

to greet galactic sun

(center) just before

midnight

(Illustration page containing line sketches of geometric shapes, sails/triangles, and horizontal waves)

3-16-05

$5 + 6 = 11 = \text{I \& I}$

(diagrams and vertical symbol groupings)

Dream: Force used

to control, wicked

group, co-ercion.

3-17-05

3 Ahhs $\rightarrow$ worked on

3 Ahhs, visualizing

energy coming in, then

passing thru my head.

Did 2 min Zazen

3/3/05

morning

12 AM –

double wands,

relaxation

Weather:

rainy

Body:

lungs

hurt, hurt

Evening

11 pm

Weather:

dry

Body: relaxed,

little asthma

Pentagram work

concentrated on

seeing the blue

light

3/3/05

borrychem, top of a

group of 4 loud

people who want

to stop practice

3/4/05

Evening 8:30pm

breath of fire,

HUM I HUM mantra

body: lungs still hurt

weather: dry, but

wet street

result: total clearing

of lungs, but

some amplified aggression

3/5/05 Dream -> fled

too fast to record,

but I’m betting there’s

a repetitive pattern

related to lawsuit

DATE: 3/5/05 DAY: ~~SUNDAY~~

TIME: 10:40 AM

Phase of moon: 3 past last

quarter

weather: Sunny, not too

warm

Emotions: Just had fight

about pres / leader.

Name of ritual:

Tarot meditation